It was recently reported that Nike, Under Armour, and Adidas have all passed on endorsement deals for UCLA’s Lonzo Ball, who is all but guaranteed to go in the top few picks in this summer’s NBA draft, unless his father, LaVar, finds a way to fuck that up for him too.

The reasoning, according to LaVar, is because the big three companies all declined to form a partnership with the Big Baller Brand, something that, if you ask him, has never been done before (I’d pay to be the one to tell him about the Jordan brand). The companies also reportedly were not interested in LaVar’s prototype for Lonzo’s first signature shoe.

LaVar, father of Lonzo, and UCLA commits LiAngelo and LaMelo, has reportedly been seeking a $1 billion deal for his three sons and their Big Baller Brand. Thanks to his fat mouth, which has said things as outrageous as claiming Lonzo is better than Steph Curry, LeBron James, and Russell Westbrook, and that back in his day (when he averaged 2.2 PPG for Washington State) he could beat Michael Jordan in a game of one-on-one.

It really is a damn shame that the star potential of son Lonzo is overshadowed in the media by such a pompous douche of a father. He seems perfect for the Big Apple though, right? I mean, the only thing that could make the saga of the New York Knickerbockers more enjoyable for fans would be to introduce this LaVar character into the Zen Master’s forced triangle scheme (which will be about as successful as my college roommate’s repeated attempts at pyramid schemes).

LaVar has said that he will continue pitching his Big Baller Brand to companies including Peak, Li-Ning, and Anta, all based in China, even though even they to might be too smart to go into business with this moron.


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